Beautifully Broken Vicky: Confessions Of A Planner-O-Holic #3

So this week has been a very hard one with my mental health. It has been another week of accusations and being spoken too like a child. I also had a very hard therapy session too, I was so tired after it as I ended up crying for around 24 hours pretty much non-stop. So when it came to writing this post I thought that maybe I could let you know why I started using a planner and how it has helped me.

So I started to have a planner after watching loads of videos on Youtube. I purchased my first planner from one of the Facebook planner groups. I ended up getting a second hand Erin Condren Planner which I got for a steal as the lady just couldn't get on with the system. So I was really enjoying using stickers and using bright colours. I had noticed that my mental health had been getting worse and worse so I wanted to use a planner to try to keep me motivated and to track the affects my mental health was having on my everyday life.

I initially used it as a way to write down a few things that I wanted to try to do everyday. Which then ment that I was noticing that I had lost all drive to do anything. I have always been a creative person from painting to crochet; but even these loved hobbies were being left behind. I kept trying to do them but was finding it harder and harder. I gave in and went to see my GP, it was really helpful to have my diary with me as I could show my GP what was going on, as my memory was getting awful. He said it was a very pro-active way to keep an eye on things, and hopefully see if there were any trends or triggers.

However, after around three months with my Erin Condren I was noticing I wasn't using it daily and would find weeks would go by without me using it. As all us planner girls know your eyes start to wonder and those pesky Youtube videos of filofaxes, travellers notebooks, websters pages etc would give me the itch to want to try a different system. So before I took the leap I asked around in the Facebook groups and asked for help and advice to see what people would recommend for my needs. One lovely lady asked for my address as she wanted to send me a RAK, which I was so shocked when it arrived. She had sent me a black travellers notebook (which I now use for my blog). I was so suprised and found myself crying at the kindness of the groups of other planner enthusiasts. Of course my husband couldn't understand why I was crying and quiet why the planner I had wasn't working, typical!

So I ended up trying to use my TN for just tracking my mental health, medications and also any mood changes I was noticing. I found this super helpful and now own two other TN's. I love how versatile the TN is but I kept being drawn back towards a ring binder. So yet again I made the leap into a Websters Pages planner. I fell in love straight away, I was able to make sections so I could try to keep trackers separate from other aspects of my life, which has been helpful. I do find now that I keep them separate that I am using my planner more and more. I wonder if subconsciously if I wasn't using my other planners because as soon as I opened them it BAM right there in the page (which made it feel like a big neon sign saying 'Hi I struggle with my mental health and I'm not good enough').

So where am I today, 18 months on from having my very first planner. Well I currently own around 20 different planners. Too many? Nah I am still on the look out for planners. A girl cannot have too many, although my husband moans about how many I have, and how often I change which I am using. But well sometimes a certain planner is calling to me so I just move all of my inserts over. Just like changing into a certain outfit that is calling to you. You get it don't you?

I hope you have all enjoyed this weeks Confessions Of A Planner-O-Holic. I look forward to seeing the other girls posts; don't forget to head over to their posts (links below). Until next week keep planning!

Vicky

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