Life Is Hard

So it has been a really hard week since my last therapy session, and thankfully my next session is tomorrow. I have been really struggling since we uncovered so much of my guilt and PTSD due to bullying. I have been trying to compartmentalise last week and my emotions. But it has been really hard since we gave my guilt a voice last week to stop that voice. I practically dragged myself to a GP review on Monday; which I explained the work that has been uncovered, and he said he was proud of the work I was doing and that I should try to not blame myself all the time. But that is just something that is easier said than done!

The last two days especially have been so hard. I haven't even got out of bed as I couldn't physically do so. I am so drained and feel so weak all the time. I am just so tired of having to live like this! Today I decided to try to take a Mental Health Day and just try to check out of my own head. I have just been lying in bed, with a cup of tea, and caught up a little on some of my TV Shows. So Nashville it was; and a song from one of the episodes really resonates with me and my current emotions and mental health.

Sometimes you just need to take a step back and have a day just for yourself. I have done it in hope that I can be emotionally ready for my therapy tomorrow and try to build myself up a little.

I hope this finds you all well,
Vicky x

Therapy tomorrow & Moving

Sorry I have been gone for a few days guys. I have been trying to post on my twitter and instagram accounts though. So where have I been? My sister has been moving house so it has been all hands on deck to help with the move and unpacking. I stayed over with her until yesterday to just try to get as much of the house set up as possible.

Although some of that was a little selfish to try to keep me busy on Father's Day. It was our first Father's day without Dad and it was really weird. Both myself and Steph were very emotional and sensitive which I had expected though. It was like there was an elephant in the room that none of us commented on. But we kept ourselves busy packing the day house, and unpacking the new house.

I thought I would check in though as it is my therapy appointment tomorrow and I am really not looking forward to it. I have really been struggling with my anxiety and lack of sleep. I just cannot switch off my thoughts. I have been feeling really sensitive so am worrying that my therapy session will leave me much more vulnerable, but we shall see.

I have usually been able to use reading fiction books as a way to escape and I have even been struggling to focus on those too. I started a new book today called 'A Thousand Boy Kisses.' I picked it hoping it would be an easy read and not too emotional. But I am around 90 pages in and there has been a huge plot twist which is so emotional. So there goes my hopes of escaping my negative worries. It is really well written though and up to now I have really enjoyed the romance.

I shall be writing a review on it once I have finished and let you know how I got on. Anyway wish me luck for tomorrow and remember to stay strong.

Vicky x