Pokemon Go - Day One

So yesterday I had a really hard therapy session; I was so tired and really struggled with the session. It was made harder as there had been another triggering incident the previous night with a member of family. Added on to that I only have one more session before we go on a break so I am worrying about that.

But, after the session I had a nap in bed and I felt a little better. And was messaged by a friend that Pokemon Go was finally available to download in the UK.

I have been a fan for so long and I had been waiting for this to come out. So I dragged myself out of bed and downloaded it. And I was so excited, while having my 'mental health day' I had been watching loads of videos on Youtube and learning up as much as possible. So I used the trick to get Pikachu as your first Pokemon, while we had a slow walk to collect Harry from school. And so far this how I am getting on which I don't think is too bad for just over an hour of being out. We ended up coming home though as I was so worn out from my therapy and my anxiety was starting to really affect me.

Happy Bead Mail

So yesterday I was having a really bad day with my anxiety and depression. I tried my usual things to try to help; including the PlayDoh my therapist gave me. But nothing was helping at all, but Mr Postman kindly delivered some Happy Mail that I had forgotten about.  I was really suprised as I only ordered them at the weekend, so very fast delivery indeed, and they gave me a bit of a lift. When I am struggling with my depression the online shopping starts. I hope I'm not the only one?

You others in the crafty world will know that feeling when we either 'stalk' our Postman or that happy feeling when he brings goodies as well as the bills!

Life Is Hard

So it has been a really hard week since my last therapy session, and thankfully my next session is tomorrow. I have been really struggling since we uncovered so much of my guilt and PTSD due to bullying. I have been trying to compartmentalise last week and my emotions. But it has been really hard since we gave my guilt a voice last week to stop that voice. I practically dragged myself to a GP review on Monday; which I explained the work that has been uncovered, and he said he was proud of the work I was doing and that I should try to not blame myself all the time. But that is just something that is easier said than done!

The last two days especially have been so hard. I haven't even got out of bed as I couldn't physically do so. I am so drained and feel so weak all the time. I am just so tired of having to live like this! Today I decided to try to take a Mental Health Day and just try to check out of my own head. I have just been lying in bed, with a cup of tea, and caught up a little on some of my TV Shows. So Nashville it was; and a song from one of the episodes really resonates with me and my current emotions and mental health.

Sometimes you just need to take a step back and have a day just for yourself. I have done it in hope that I can be emotionally ready for my therapy tomorrow and try to build myself up a little.

I hope this finds you all well,
Vicky x

Therapy tomorrow & Moving

Sorry I have been gone for a few days guys. I have been trying to post on my twitter and instagram accounts though. So where have I been? My sister has been moving house so it has been all hands on deck to help with the move and unpacking. I stayed over with her until yesterday to just try to get as much of the house set up as possible.

Although some of that was a little selfish to try to keep me busy on Father's Day. It was our first Father's day without Dad and it was really weird. Both myself and Steph were very emotional and sensitive which I had expected though. It was like there was an elephant in the room that none of us commented on. But we kept ourselves busy packing the day house, and unpacking the new house.

I thought I would check in though as it is my therapy appointment tomorrow and I am really not looking forward to it. I have really been struggling with my anxiety and lack of sleep. I just cannot switch off my thoughts. I have been feeling really sensitive so am worrying that my therapy session will leave me much more vulnerable, but we shall see.

I have usually been able to use reading fiction books as a way to escape and I have even been struggling to focus on those too. I started a new book today called 'A Thousand Boy Kisses.' I picked it hoping it would be an easy read and not too emotional. But I am around 90 pages in and there has been a huge plot twist which is so emotional. So there goes my hopes of escaping my negative worries. It is really well written though and up to now I have really enjoyed the romance.

I shall be writing a review on it once I have finished and let you know how I got on. Anyway wish me luck for tomorrow and remember to stay strong.

Vicky x