Pokemon Go - Day One

So yesterday I had a really hard therapy session; I was so tired and really struggled with the session. It was made harder as there had been another triggering incident the previous night with a member of family. Added on to that I only have one more session before we go on a break so I am worrying about that.

But, after the session I had a nap in bed and I felt a little better. And was messaged by a friend that Pokemon Go was finally available to download in the UK.

I have been a fan for so long and I had been waiting for this to come out. So I dragged myself out of bed and downloaded it. And I was so excited, while having my 'mental health day' I had been watching loads of videos on Youtube and learning up as much as possible. So I used the trick to get Pikachu as your first Pokemon, while we had a slow walk to collect Harry from school. And so far this how I am getting on which I don't think is too bad for just over an hour of being out. We ended up coming home though as I was so worn out from my therapy and my anxiety was starting to really affect me.

Happy Bead Mail

So yesterday I was having a really bad day with my anxiety and depression. I tried my usual things to try to help; including the PlayDoh my therapist gave me. But nothing was helping at all, but Mr Postman kindly delivered some Happy Mail that I had forgotten about.  I was really suprised as I only ordered them at the weekend, so very fast delivery indeed, and they gave me a bit of a lift. When I am struggling with my depression the online shopping starts. I hope I'm not the only one?

You others in the crafty world will know that feeling when we either 'stalk' our Postman or that happy feeling when he brings goodies as well as the bills!

My world

So I thought I would share a post about my world; my 6 year old son Harry. He is the one thing that makes me keep on fighting with my mental health. Everyday he makes me laugh and is always there to ask if I am ok. He has the kindest soul that I have ever met. He has always been a very bright child and will always share 'his last rolo'.

When my Dad died suddenly in October 2015, Harry really did struggle. They were best friends; and Dad was always the one Harry would confide in when he was having problems at school. So not only did he loose a best friend but also his confidant. I was so sad to see my little man so unhappy and lost. Unfortunately his school work took a bit of a hit too; his reading development  just stopped. I think this is partly because Dad and Harry would read a lot together. So he would put off reading and I could see that the memories he had attached to reading were making it hard for him.

But 8 months on we have both healed a little bit and he now talks about Grandad with great fondness without getting upset. We have a jar where we collect any feathers we find, as Harry relates them to Grandad being around. It warms my heart to see how strong this wonderful little man is, and really shows me how to be within myself.

Thank you so much little man to keeping Mummy going; I love you so much buddy.

Love Mummy x

Life Is Hard

So it has been a really hard week since my last therapy session, and thankfully my next session is tomorrow. I have been really struggling since we uncovered so much of my guilt and PTSD due to bullying. I have been trying to compartmentalise last week and my emotions. But it has been really hard since we gave my guilt a voice last week to stop that voice. I practically dragged myself to a GP review on Monday; which I explained the work that has been uncovered, and he said he was proud of the work I was doing and that I should try to not blame myself all the time. But that is just something that is easier said than done!

The last two days especially have been so hard. I haven't even got out of bed as I couldn't physically do so. I am so drained and feel so weak all the time. I am just so tired of having to live like this! Today I decided to try to take a Mental Health Day and just try to check out of my own head. I have just been lying in bed, with a cup of tea, and caught up a little on some of my TV Shows. So Nashville it was; and a song from one of the episodes really resonates with me and my current emotions and mental health.

Sometimes you just need to take a step back and have a day just for yourself. I have done it in hope that I can be emotionally ready for my therapy tomorrow and try to build myself up a little.

I hope this finds you all well,
Vicky x

Therapy tomorrow & Moving

Sorry I have been gone for a few days guys. I have been trying to post on my twitter and instagram accounts though. So where have I been? My sister has been moving house so it has been all hands on deck to help with the move and unpacking. I stayed over with her until yesterday to just try to get as much of the house set up as possible.

Although some of that was a little selfish to try to keep me busy on Father's Day. It was our first Father's day without Dad and it was really weird. Both myself and Steph were very emotional and sensitive which I had expected though. It was like there was an elephant in the room that none of us commented on. But we kept ourselves busy packing the day house, and unpacking the new house.

I thought I would check in though as it is my therapy appointment tomorrow and I am really not looking forward to it. I have really been struggling with my anxiety and lack of sleep. I just cannot switch off my thoughts. I have been feeling really sensitive so am worrying that my therapy session will leave me much more vulnerable, but we shall see.

I have usually been able to use reading fiction books as a way to escape and I have even been struggling to focus on those too. I started a new book today called 'A Thousand Boy Kisses.' I picked it hoping it would be an easy read and not too emotional. But I am around 90 pages in and there has been a huge plot twist which is so emotional. So there goes my hopes of escaping my negative worries. It is really well written though and up to now I have really enjoyed the romance.

I shall be writing a review on it once I have finished and let you know how I got on. Anyway wish me luck for tomorrow and remember to stay strong.

Vicky x

How to use t-tag's with your planners

So us ring bound planner folk need a way to archive our previous layouts. I have been struggling with this a lot since I moved over to ring bound planning. I have been using an old websters pages box to store my old pages. I keep them not only to refer back to if needed for appointments etc. But I also keep them as a way to reflect on my mental health progress; as well as it is just fun to reminisce sometimes.

So I have been looking for a while and finally fell upon the t-tag. It seems so simple whem you think about it now. These are very similar to the treasury tags that I remember us using back when I was at junior school to bind our work together. These however are so much better than the original. They are vert sturdy, yet bendy. Plus we already have holes in our ring bound planner pages, so it makes sense.

I personally only have my inserts from the beginning of 2016, so that is 7 months now, but there are too many to store in one of my many filofax's or websters page planners. Plus I don't want to damage the rings by over stuffing them. So these are a fab compromise. They also look really bright and colourful, which well means they are also very easy on the eye too. So why not head over and have a look yourself and let me know how you find them?

Take Care, Vicky

PLANNING is HELPING with my MENTAL HEALTH?

Ok, so here it is I have always been one of those really organised people that makes lists and is always ready for holidays and special events weeks or even months in advance. Well one of the first things that I noticed when my anxiety and depression was getting worse was that I wasn't doing anything. Don't get me wrong most days are still a struggle but I have found one way to keep myself focused and motivated. Plus my planner is a good way to channel my creativity and allow me to track my days.